Chapter 5: How to find The Diary..

                        " ...The DIary is not here..."



   Saying that santosh as well joined me and grabbed Raju. "Ab sab kuch sach sach sach bata saale nahin toh tujhe police ke hawale kar dunga.."threatened Santosh. Now Santosh was fired and pissed off of not getting the WILL there in Raju's Cupboard. Being the rommie of Pawan's, he back stabbed him. I thought that this might be the reason of Pawan's death and I directly wanted to interrogate Raju about this. But then the next thing that came into my mind was that the phrase of how could she do this me that I found it written in the notepad. I wanted the answer for that question. At last Raju spoke "Listen I have nothing to do with Pawan's death. He was also dearer to me. When in the last Semester (6th) Sneha broke up with Pawan for some of the Pawan's fault, she..." in between both Santosh and I interrupted. "Pawan' Fault U moron..." "Yes Sneha herself told me, mother's promise" Raju told. Now this was the turning point. That fake lady made the bad impression of our friend after using him and then betrayed him. So, the interrogation with Raju was not that important. So we hugged Raju for what we had done and then left the room after taking the promise of not to reveal anyone about the incident that just happened. That ni8 was really an adventurous 1. Swadhin had taken permission from his mom and was staying in hostel with me as I had a good reputation in front of his parents. Santosh wanted to study for GATE but this situation was such that he wanted the answers before getting into his preperations. Meanwhile another friend of ours and the talanted Bhwani suddenly appeared as he was playing counter-strike in the hostel. He requested Swadhin to drop him home and left after cracking some jokes. After he and Swadhin left, I told Santosh everything which I saw that ni8. "That is a bitch man...really how could she do this..Pawan ke room mate k saath,.." Santosh was really tensed at that moment. But he also tola that he didnt found any diary of Pawan in Raju's self. "Kya us waqt koi tha uske room main??" I enquired. "Manas was talking with Hk at that time outside his room..and I took the advantage. But dude I didnt find any clue about Raju and Sneha's relationship" asked Santosh. I also wanted that prove for that thing. but the main hurdle in front of us was HOW??
       Pissed of this situation and all the puzzles , I opened my facebook account and started playing some online games. GATE was approaching nad my preparation was nil. I had already told my father that I was going to get IIT this time or else I wont be going home. "Home man...Uske k ghar main jaa k dekhte hain.." I told Santosh and at was happy for that time about the ray of hope. So at least that ni8 was eventless and we started preparing for GATE. Swadhin joined us after 2 hours. We promised that untill we get any clue we wont tell anything or wont interrogate anything with Raju or anybody else.
      "2 din aur and after that we can enjoy our final semesters.." told Dibya a dark complexioned scholar in the class the next day. Everybody were a bit confident about scoring good in the upcoming GATE xam. But I was quite sad that 1 student would be less as expected and that was Pawan. He was a dedicated mechi student and last time scored 97.5 percentile and just didnt qualified for IISc. So this time he was quite sure of making into it which remained as a dream for ever.
    In the mean while Sneha and Raju were not meeting in the college campus but rather preferd to meet privetely. The reason I told this was I 1nce saw them in a mall about 3 Kms from the Hostel and at 8 pm when I was retuning from a book store in Bapuji Nagar colony . I didnt want to make them know about us knowing or doubting them.

Just the meanwhile when I was going towards the Library to return my books, a sweet voice from my behind called me "Excuse me Rik...". When I turned mack, Sneha was standing behind me in a tensed manner. "...I want to talk something important..."

Chapter 4: Will Is there

                                      " ... Raju is Sneha's Boy Friend....."


That night was something different. I and santosh were astonished after knowing the WILL and finding the WAY. But one thing that was echoing in both of our ears was that "How and Why". "Seriously Rik I am not able to figure it out why Raju has done this" asked santosh in a puzzled. "Of course man he is a psycho and wanted a girl to fulfil his hunger" i replied. "So Rik lets behave in a normal way , we shouldnt drag anyone's attention. Agar kisiko kuch be suukk hua toh everything what we have got will be lost". I nodded my head in affirmation.

Next day was a new day with the WILL being flashed infront of us. But the main question was where to start. "Are tum logon ko aaj college nahin jana hai kya??" asked Hk coming into the room. I and santosh were asleep after a long discussion. That day we had to submit our Final Sem project reports. So I dressed up quickly nad got ready to go. I and Santosh were the last ones to leave for the college. The bus had already left and we had to catch an auto infront of the Siripur Chhak to goto the college. After reaching college we dashed to the laboratory to watch Swadhin mota getting trashing from the sweet Annapurna , our lab instructor. "You FInal year electrical student and so eiiyee?" she was shouting to swadhin. Well in the beginning I couldnt understand what the 'eeiiyee' was. Hk told "abe eeiiyee means "MADAR****"!!! and smiled at me. I was like "WHat the hell this lady was talking about" . After all these drama at last out reports were submitted and I got 'O" (outstanding marks) in this subject.

The next thing that was important on that days schedule was the Viva in Electrical Machine's II. The toughest  viva in whole Electrical Engineer's life. While I wasgoing towards the staff room for the Viva I saw Raju near the water cooler (drinking water stand). I couldn't control my anger and was going towards Raju when Santosh interrupted me. "Shaannt mere bhooke shaer shaannt. Sabki bari aayegi. Jus be calm." he told while relaxing me. I cooled and let that moment pass. Seriously, the thought of Raju being the reason behind the suicide was making me RESTLESS.

My Viva was over and it was Ok Ok type. But the main hurdle for me was to solve the mystery of Pawan's Death and the actual reason behind it.
Few years back when I was in 3rd sem:
"Yaar I want to be a RnD chief in an automobile industry",  Pawan told me. "Haan yaar, tu toh bahut hi aahca engineer hai na!!" I pulled his legs while saying this to me. "Yaar I have to do a lot of things. This is the only life I have got and I have to do something to make my parents proud." I was taken aback with his words.
Those words rang in my ears when I was giving my Viva. After the viva was over I dragged santosh to a corner and told "I have to tell you something Important". "What??" asked he. Then I narrated evrything to santosh about that day's conversation between Pawan and me. "Well isse tu kya kehna cahta hai mere bhai?" asked santosh in a lazy manner. "I thing there is something more in this KHICDI of pawan's death" I replied. "Sun aaj Raju ka room check karte hain. Our 2nd most important point to get Pawan's diary." Santosh said and went to the canteen. I stood there to plan how to enter into the CASTLE and then I too went to the canteen to join others.

That night I and santosh around 8pm met in the common room to discuss theway to enter into the CASTLE as at that time no one was there. And then headed toward the room D-204 where Raju was staying with Manas. Santosh had already asked Manas to stay away from his room for 2 hours by asking him to bring something for that days Dinner. He does whatever you say if there is food involved in it. Hence he happily agreed. "Are Raju mujhe mera woh Lyrics ka notebook cahiye" santosh asked Raju immediately after entering the room. "Kaunsa notebook?" raju asked in a puzzled manner. "Rook main dekhta hoon tere cupboard main" santosh told and went near the cupboard. While doing this Raju interrupted him. Seeing this i caught hold of Raju and my moment was with me now and tight slap on his fucking face. "What the FUCK?" replied raju in a instant manner. "Say are u the BF of SNeha?" I asked him and signalled Santosh to search the cupboard. "B B w-w-who told you?"raju asked thunderstruck. " I saw you and Sneha yeserday near siripur" i replied back. After listening this he was jus trying to go away but my hold was firm this time and he was unable to go anywhere. "No she is not my GF but we are close friends" raju replied. "How close?" I asked watching santosh in the corner of my eyes and he was searching like anything. "No-No you are misunderstanding me". "Abe misunderstand toh ab hum tujhe karenge" santosh told after searching and told me.....
                                           


                                            ".....The Diary is not here...."

Chapter 3: Mission Impossible

                                    " It's the DIARY man.....which can tell everything to us."

      " Mujhe laga kisi ladki ka fone no dene ke liya immediately bulaya hai......haak yaar!.. sara mood kharap kar diya.." replied Santosh jokingly. I said," I forgot to tell you but wen I was his roommate I used to notice that he maintained a Diary and his best friend was his diary." "Hmm.." Santosh said while thinking something. "Okey, kal uss diary ko dhundenge..... par kahan??" asked Santosh with a gloomy face. "His home dude" I replied. But I wanted to know something else also. The thing which was hidden from everybody. The thing which only Pawan and his X knew in our college and nobody else and that is the ' Darkest Secret '. "Sun pehle se start karte hain.." Santosh suggested something and I could see the twinkling stars in his eyes. "Kya karen??" I replied. "Uske ghar ko jane se pehle uska room dekh lete hain" told Santosh. I was feeling like as if I was asked to see Grudge-II sitting alone in room. "Are u nuts?? Abhi jayega?" I said restlessly. "Naik kaam main deri kyun" laughed Santosh saying this. I jus didnt tell anything and went out of the room to get some fresh air. But in my mind I wanted to know some thing. It was well said that "wer there is a will there is a way". There is WILL with me and I have found out the WAY for that WILL. 
  During the dinner time I saw Raju , Pawan's roommate sitting and was eating quitly. I could understand that he was quite disturbed by the act and the scene he faced. I also heard from Manas, Raju's present roommate , yesterday that Raju wakes up at night and he always remains quite disturbed all the time. He still not able to get over that matter. I went near Raju and asked wat was the matter. He said ," Yaar mujhe kuch accha nahin lagta..I feel as if he is always there doing facebook near me and talking in fone.....". Really I could also feel the same thing bcoz I had lost my FIRST ROOMMATE of my first ever hostel life. I truly missed him. And this was the reason I wanted to know the meaning of "how could she do this to me". I really wanted to know wat that Girl did with Pawan that made him take such a step.
   For the 1st time I went to college after that incident. I saw nothing had changed. Still there wer only 2 buses for Day-scholars and the bus superintendent Mr. Sinha-the Pirate Sir was still saying," Give a written application to the Princi (NO Principal at that moment) and we will look forward to it". Still the money for the Tech fest was not sanctioned and hence this year also there would be events with no prize money in the fest. And even now our Branch teachers wer busy with their stuffs. And hence no1 to teach us in our last semester. But there was something which had changed and no1 noticed that. That Pawan was no more and his beloved gf was with somebody else who was still THE LORD VOLDEMORT for us.  First day went like dat with no such event and everybody started preparing for the GATE exam. Meanwhile a close friend Swadhin Mota, who was out of station for his CCNA certification along with Bhawani and Deshraj, was back home and was shocked on hearing this news.
    "I told you na Rik, that girl is not good. You know her face was like that only. But this is not the reason for his suicide?" Swadhin spoke from the other side of the fone. "That's what dude? My question is also dat. Really I am pissed off. I want some fresh air and also some smoke" I replied as if I was feeling suffocated and wanted to leave this haunted room as my desperate room mate was still outside today with his  maal  girlfriend Neha. Swadhin came after 1 hour around 10pm with 2 blacks with him. He phoned me to come down and we planned to go to our, smoking place i.e the Siripur Chhak infront of OUAT. He lit up the cigarettes and stared telling me about his experience in Delhi. Today Santosh was not here as he was back at hostel preparing for GATE. As I was taking a 3rd sip from my Black and Swadhin still thinking about the food he took that ni8..I saw a scooty coming out from the OUAT playground. As I watched it go, I realised that it was a girl and after looking clearly, as she took a turn, I realised that it was SNEHA in a black dress. I was STUNNED becoz the "WAY" I wanted to know was somewhere near me. As I called Swadhin to show him wat I noticed, he made my head turn towards the direction he was looking at . I said angrily," What the F...." becoz I was surprised to see some1whom I never expected to be at that place. At that time my phone rang with Santosh's name flashing. I picked up the call with my eyes still on that dark shadow moving away. "Abe kahan he tu? mera gand phaat gayi yaar?" Santosh told me. "W-W-What happened?" I asked him as I was already shocked with the sight I was watching." Are D407 main koi Diary nahin mili..aur mujhe bahut darr lag raha tha..us bhutiya room main..." Santosh said. "Wahan nain milegi ja ke D204 main dekh...Sneha ke Boyfriend ke pass hogi.." I told and I knew exactly what had happened. "Par woh toh Manas aur Raju ka..???? O My God......" Santosh was shocked after telling it. I told him,


             
                                      " ... Raju is Sneha's Boy Friend....."


                                                                                                       (.....to be continued....)

Chapter-2: The Diary FInder

".............how could she do this to me.............."


        .......... I was taken aback with this phrase. I really couldnt think that I was reading this. At that moment in my mind only 1 scene from a famous film , Munnabhai MBBS, dialogue was running. In that scene Munna was saying to a boy who after attempting suicide was admitted in the hospital," ....cant u live for ur mom who loves u since u came to this world......". Yes, Munna said it correctly but no GIRL and nobody else in this world can understand wat a boy goes through in this type of situation. But something else might also be there behind Pawan's this step. Without thinking any thing else I started searching that notepad and realized that it was simply a notebook of mechanics. But 1 thing I noticed that the handwriting in which My memories was written was different and in a girlish type. I understood that it might be written by Sneha.
     "Something terrible might have happened,,", I told santosh who was jus looking through the notepad. "Abe Duffer yeh pad pura acche se padh dekh ek poem sayad us Sneha ne likha hai...ek nahin but 2-3 tho hai....", really i was impressed by this future-to-be scientist and a great admirer of Sherlock Holmes. I realised why Pawan wanted it to throw away. He didnt want to keep all the things of her memory with him anymore. But i was becoming hungrier for this topic and i wanted to know about the case that might hav happened between those 2 "love birds" who wer then angrybirds (quote given by the famous Swadhin mota, final year electrical). Then entered Shaibal my civil roomie. Santosh quickly kept the note pad inside his laptop bag and gestured me to avoid the topic from others. It's because he knew that am a blabber mouth and can tell everything to others which can make the case more worse. I asked Shaibal," Sale raat bhar kahan mara raha tha..??". "Neha ke saath tha. Dude we went to a movie and then to puri" replied Shaibal in a shyish manner. "Abe woh Silicon college ki maal.." asked Santosh in desperation. "When did u both get commited?" asked Hk who jus entered the room with a towel on his shoulder. This desperation is a common thing for all the engineering GUYS. Then both Santosh and Hk started pulling Shaibal's leg by asking absurd questions. But in my mind I was thinking about Pawan. I wanted to know more about him but I could know nothing. Because the hukkum ka iikaa, which I thought would be the notepad, finally turned out to be Ishant Sharma.
    Pawan was a boy who was king of his own world. A silent boy who used to be 24/7 online and 3 hours a day on d fone with his so called girlfriend or mandu which we call in oriya. I still can remember 25th feb 2008 wen Pawan first proposing to Sneha in pone and I was teasing him. He got an answer immediately and that was...
      "Abe saale tu virgin nahin rha...." shouted Hk and started laughing and jumping. I was dragged into the present scenerio where Shaibal was a bit annoyed of what Hk was doing and Santosh was also jumping with Hk. After that Shaibal took a pen and threw it at Hk who walked away from the room laughing. "Fuck man..saalaa kya kya bolta rehta hai??" told Shaibal in an angry voice and showed his possessiveness towards his girl. I told him to relax as Hk was joking bcoz everybody knows how he is. After saying this I went back into the previous scene or dream , watever it can be.

                    "Whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaat!!!!!!" Pawan exclaimed and I was Shocked as if there was a Ghost in d other side of the pone. "I cant believe u are telling me this!!" Pawan replied in a shocked manner. I also wanted to know what was going on. And instead of replying to me, after keeping the pone, he wrote something in his Diary. He turned towards me and then said,"Dude , she told me yessssssssss!!!"......

    

    "Abe khana khane nahin chalna hai kya??", asked Shaibal and my dream was again broken. I looked around and saw that Santosh was not here and I was sleeping for 7 hours and it was 9 in the night and was dinner time. I could here Kaun Banega Crorepati's musiq being played in loud sound in the boys common room. I got up, washed my face, put on my slippers, went out of my room following Shaibal to hav my dinner. Near the staircase Satyajit , a BT final year student and a boy from my hometown was talking to Khursid-The khan. And I was then informed by Khurshid that Adani power was going to visit our college the next day. I wished him Luck as I was unable to sit in that campus bcoz I already got placed in Hindalco after being in the waiting list for 1 month. Shaibal shouted from the ground floor and I rushed to hav my dinner.
    I was thinking about Pawan and hoping to know wat could hav happened wen something struck my mind and I shouted, "yesssssss!!!!" loudly. And Prafulla a final year electrical kicked me in the back and asked ," Mental se double mental hoo gya kya..". I smiled back at him and rushed towards my room leaving Shaibal who was in a shock with rest of the people having their dinner. I dialed Santosh's no. and called him immediately to my room. After 5 mins he came running. After seeing him, in desperation, I told him,

                                    " It's the DIARY man which can tell everything to us."

             
                                                                                                             (.....to be continued....)

Chapter 1: How could she do this to me.....

       My sleep was broken with a sudden ring of my new ericsson MINI which I bought a few days back. I am Rik (Ricky) a final year student of JCET, Bhubanesar living in  Hostel no. 7. I slept early because i needed to wake up at 4.30 to prepare for my semester xam . But the reason for which I woke up is something different.
      Pandu called me and said," Quickly come to 4th floor now. Something ODD has happened". He stressed on the word 'odd' in such a manner that m not able to forget it. I quickly put on my slippers and rushed to 4th floor and met Santosh the singer at the stairs. I asked him what has happened. He said," Abe mech ka Pawan nahin tha woh nahin raha......."." What the fuck..kaise hua aur kab?" I asked in a tensed mood. I still can remember the time he was my roomie and the nightouts and boozing. But what was the reason behind this. I really cant understand. I rushed to the room no. D407 and the entrance was full of all mechis and Raju ,his room mate was crying. and i had a glimpse of his hanging legs. I was frozen.

This was the first time I was watching such a scene and first friend of mine who was no more.
           Police came after 20 mins as the superintendent had called them and also his parents. There was a huge amount of crying and shouting when his body was taken for post-mortem . The police could only get a letter from Pawan's hand , written in his own hand writing which Ready( a 2nd year electrical ) told me. In it was written,"I QUIT". Well there wer reasons behind this thing to be written. I said it because he was not yet placed in any of the core companies although many of the other mechis and most of his friends wer placed . He was 1 of the best 12 in his branch and a JACK OF ALL TRADES. That room (407) was sealed and our xam was postponed for 15 days. This thing was some thing good which the best Government college of the state had done for us for the first time. But the main reason was Pawan's death and a strike followed that day for the postponement  of the sem. But the main thing that was encircling in our minds was 'Why the hell pawan did this???'.
         Police released the room after 2days and declared the death as a result of frustration and impact of the heavy load that the degree was impacting on the students and also for not getting a job till now. But all his room mates didn't stay in tat room and that room was locked forever. When his Father came to the hostel for the last time to take all his son's belongings, I could see his watery eyes and the trembling hands to lift up his son's suitcase. I ran towards him and helped him to load it in his car. He knew me as I was Pawan's rommie in 2nd year. He wished me luck and Santosh who just came and helped me lifting the last suitcase and after which he left. We both went off to the  Beetle shop to hav a cigarette and forced each other to laugh but were trying hard to maintain that rappo. After having it we went off to prepare for the TATA POWER campus which was going to visit a famous DEEMED university in our city as our college was unable to maintain its reputation against the money . I went to my room and opened my Transmission and Distribution book and started studying CORONA which I was unable to answer in Jindal Stainless Steel campus and was ashamed of my interview being finished in just 5 mins while others was not less than 20 mins. But I was not able to concentrate on the subject and the face of Pawan's face was joggling in my mind. I still couldn't believe that he was no more. I could also feel what his parents might be going through after losing their young son. I also know that life doesnt end here which i could feel from the laughs and songs being played in other rooms. And eventually the topic was shut infront of the monster semester-the fucker.

          The day had come to run to the battle ground which everybody thinks about in THE 1 NIGHT STAND before the xam i.e the semester. Hence i woke up at 7 , had my bath and rushed towards the bus and signaled Shiba my next rollno and my xam saver to keep a seat for me. I asked if he had done everything or not .Really the first xam is like a budger of Quidditch game of HARRY POTTER. The xam was like that i.e dont ask type. I saw Pawan's X girl friend Sneha who although was looking quite depressed but was with her friends and I wondered what she might be thinking . i.e about the exam or about Pawan or about her new Bf after Pawan. They broke up after the 6th sem which hinted us wen they wer not talking even though standing nearby and crossing eachother. Even Pawan didnt tell any1 about this. I am again dragging into the Pawan topic as he was one of my nice friends. Then finally the exam was over but the tension was not yet gone. 22nd Jan the fate deciding day of many engineers of Jcet had come as after the shut down of Vedanta this was the only Dream Company visiting for most of the electrical students. The most deserving Santosh the singer didnt got but that champ made into BARC later. And the way the deemed university Humiliated us can never be forgotton. Leave it I don want to speak about that thing anymore.

        But the most important thing that I had on 22nd was wen I was talking in phone with my best and oldest friend Navneet whom I met in Facebook after 10 years. I saw a note pad thrown under the water-tank on the terrace of the hostel. I took it up and saw the name Pawan Kalyan on the 1st page. My heart sank as if I had seen a ghost and quickly ran into my room. I sat there for 15 mins and threw tat notepad somewhere. Then my phone rang again with Navneet's name flashing. I told him everything and he laughed loudly and after 2 mins he kept the call. My room mate who was from civil branch was with his girlfriend and was not going to come that night . I called Santosh who was little depressed to my room and we talked for 3-4 hours and he left at 2 am as I was feeling a bit sleepy. I slept but woke up after 10 mins and searched tat pad which was near the legs of my study table. I took it up and saw that in the very first page it was written My memories.... But the condition of the notepad was as if he had tried to tear it and throw it away. I quickly turned the last page and there it was written

                           ".............how could she do this to me.............."

                                                                                                                  (to be continued....)